This a wonderful time to be living here on earth.  Our opportunities are limitless. While there are some things wrong in the world today, there are many things right, such as teachers who teach, ministers who minister, marriages that make it, parents who sacrifice, and friends who help.

We can lift ourselves and others as well, when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude.  If  ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.

William Ward said, “God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say, “Thank You?”

2011 has been an amazing year for the Harding family.  God has been so good and I truly do count my many blessings.

I am grateful for:

• Jesus’ love
• My wonderful family
• My health & strength
• My many wonderful friends
• The 3 most wonderful grandchildren in the world
• My parents, who are both now in heaven, for providing me a home where love and gratitude were evident
• My long-time friend and business partner, Dr. Alan Tomlinson
• The opportunity to work in a wonderful company like Sportron
• My great staff who make it a real joy to come to the office every day
• The many blessings the Lord gives me every day
• For each and every one of you, our Sportron Partners & Customers – for your love, friendship and loyalty.

So I challenge you to call or e-mail at least 10 people this weekend and tell them, “Thank You.”

I trust that you will all enjoy a very happy and safe holiday weekend.

Thought for the Day:  Give thanks.  Show your gratitude in word and deed.  Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.  ~William Ward

Here are some important steps to becoming a good listener:

1. Listen, Listen, Listen.  Ask your friend what’s wrong, and really listen to the answer.  Let them vent their fears, frustrations and other important feelings, maintaining eye contact and showing that you’re interested in what they have to say.  Resist the urge to give advice, and just let them get it out.
2. Reframe What You Hear.  Summarize and repeat back your understanding of what they’re saying so they know you’re hearing them, and focus on the emotions they might be feeling.  For example if your friend is talking about family problems, you might find yourself saying, “It looks like things are getting pretty hostile.  You sound like you’re feeling hurt.”
3. Ask About Feelings.  Ask them to expand on what they’re feeling.  Asking about their feelings provides a good emotional release and might be more helpful than just focusing on the facts of their situation.
4. Keep The Focus On Them.  Rather than delving into a related story of your own, keep the focus on them until they feel better.  You can reference something that happened to you if you bring the focus back to them quickly.  They will appreciate the focused attention, and this will help them feel genuinely cared for and understood.
5. Help Brainstorm.  Rather than giving advice in the beginning, which cuts off  further exploration of feelings and other communication, wait until they’ve gotten their feelings out, and then help them brainstorm solutions.  If you help them come up ideas and look at the pros and cons of each, they’re likely to come up with a solution they feel good about.  Or they might feel better after just being able to talk and feeling heard.

Tips:

• Stay Present.  Sometimes people are listening, but they’re really just waiting for their friend to stop talking so they can say whatever they’ve been mentally rehearsing while they’ve been pretending to listen.  People can usually sense this, and it doesn’t feel good.  Also, they tend to miss what’s being said because they’re not focused.
• Don’t Give Advice.  It’s common to want to immediately give advice and “fix” your friend’s problem.  Unless it’s specifically requested, don’t.  While you’re trying to help, what would work for you might not work for your friend; also, advice can feel condescending.  Unless they ask directly for advice, your friend probably just wants to feel heard and understood, and then can find their own solutions.

I cannot believe that the purpose of life is to be happy.  I think the purpose of life is to be useful, to be responsible, to be compassionate.  It is, above all, to matter, to count, to stand for something, to have made some difference that you lived at all.” ~Leo Rosten

Financial success is a powerful motivator.  And it controls the lives of many.  It chooses occupations.  It dictates how time, energy, and resources are spent.  It influences relationships, schedules, and families.  To some, it even becomes an all-consuming passion that leaves broken people and morality in its wake.

Unfortunately, it is not the greatest call that we have on our lives.  In fact, compared to significance, it fades pretty quickly.

Consider the limitations of success:

• Success ebbs and flows with the economy.  As recent years have proven, financial success is always at the mercy of a national economy and increasingly, a world economy.  When the economy takes a downturn (as it always does) so does net worth.
• Success ends on the day you die.  On the day you die, all wealth and possessions will be immediately transferred to someone else.  And even if you get to pick where they go, the reality is that person is always someone other than you.
• Success is never enough.  Financial success will never satisfy the inmost desires of our soul.  No matter the amount of financial success earned, it always leaves us wanting more.

On the other hand, compare the advantages of significance:

• Significance always lasts.  Significance will always outlast you.  Even when you are no longer present, your significance will still be yours.  And nothing can ever take that away from you.
• Significance carries on.  Significance keeps on giving.  When you positively change the life of another human being…and that person changes the life of another…who impacts the life of another…who influences another…
• Significance satisfies our soul.  While the thirst for success is never quenched, significance satisfies our deepest heart and soul.  It allows us to lay our head on our pillow each night confident that we lived a valuable and fulfilling day.

Unfortunately, many people spend most of their lives chasing financial success.  And while some achieve it more than others, almost all find it unfulfilling in the end.  When they begin to shift their life focus to significance instead of success, they wonder why they wasted most of their life chasing something different.

Don’t waste any of your life.  Seek significance today.

Here are just a few practical steps to get you started:

1. Realize that life won’t last forever.  Everyone knows that life will come to an end - but no one likes to think about it.  That’s unfortunate.  As soon as you start thinking about the end of your life, you begin to live differently in the present.  You are never too young to start thinking about your legacy.  How do you want people to remember you?  And what do you really want to accomplish before you die?  Make a list.  Post it somewhere…because rarely will “drive a really nice car” ever appear.
2. Live a life worth copying.  Live with character, integrity, and morality.  Your life should look the same in private as it does in public.  And while no one is perfect, just begin striving for a life of integrity.  It will be noticed.
3. Focus on People - not Dollars.  Begin to transfer your life’s focus from your bank account to the people around you.  Rather than worrying about the next get-rich-quick scheme, spend that energy focusing on your child, your neighbor, or the disadvantaged in your community.
4. Start with one solitary person.  Find one person who needs you today.  Start there.  Significance may be as inexpensive as one cup of coffee or as simple as one heartfelt question.  If you are unsure where to start, try this, “How are you really doing?”
5. Find a career outside your job.  Sometimes, our day job leads to significance.  But if yours does not, find a “career of significance” outside of your job by volunteering in a local organization.  Most likely your gifts, talents or expertise are desperately needed.  Use your job to pay the bills, but use your “new career” to pay your soul.
6. Realize that significance is not dependent upon success.  Too many people fall into the trap of thinking, “Once I make it rich, I’ll become significant.”  This is rarely the case.  Choose significance today.  Begin striving for it now.  If then financial success comes your way in the future, your mind will be in a better place to truly use your new success for broader significance. 

Rarely do people look back on their lives and savor their professional achievements.  Instead they celebrate the impact they have had in the lives of others.  Give yourself much to look back and celebrate.  Stop chasing success.  Start seeking significance.

Success in life must not be left to chance or luck.  What you desire can only become a reality when you mentally see, feel and believe that which you seek.  The issue of belief is very important in the matter of attaining success.  Your desire cannot be out of proportion with your belief.  For instance, if you desire to become the President or Prime Minister of your country and you do not believe down deep inside that it is possible, you might as well forget your desire.  You have failed even before you start.  What you desire must be what you believe because what you conceive and believe is what you can achieve.

Have you ever wondered why some professional athletes lose a major competition even when they are heavily favored and physically superior than their opponent?  Here’s a hint — it’s all in the mind.  So what is the reason?  In a word — desire.  Most people either lose their desire to succeed, don’t have the desire to succeed, have the wrong desire attached to their goal, or don’t know what their real desire is.  The last two are where most people fall — they may want to achieve certain goals – but don’t have the right desire attached to their goal or don’t know what their real desire is.

Your desire is what fuels your success — if you don’t have the desire to achieve your goals – you’re not going to achieve it.  A goal without a desire is like driving a car without gas.  You’re simply not going to get anywhere.  If you want to achieve your goals you need to have the desire to achieve your goal or you have to have the right desire associated with that goal.

Thought for the Day:

There are two qualities that one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose and a burning desire to possess it.  ~Napoleon Hill

Today I want to leave you with a few thoughts that came out of John’s soon to be released book.

Making the shift from Position to Permission brings a person’s first real step into leadership.  Why do I say that?  Because leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.  Leaders who rely on their positions to move people rarely develop influence with them.  If their subordinates do what they are asked, it’s usually because they think they have to–to receive their pay, keep their jobs, prevent being reprimanded, and so on.

In contrast, when a leader learns to function on the Permission level, everything changes.  People do more than merely comply with orders.  They actually start to follow.  And they do so because they really want to.  Why?  Because the leader begins to influence people with relationship, not just position.  Building relationships develops a foundation for effectively leading others.  It also starts to break down organizational silos as people connect across the lines between their job descriptions or departments.  The more barriers come down and relationships deepen, the broader the foundation for leading others becomes.

When people feel liked, cared for, included, valued, and trusted they begin to work together with their leader and each other.  And that can change the entire working environment.  The old saying is really true:  People go along with leaders they get along with.

Moving up to Level 2 is an important development in leadership because that is where followers give their supervisors pemission to lead them.  People change from being subordinates to followers for the first time, and that means there is movement!  Remember, leadership always means that people are going somewhere.  They aren’t static.  No journey, no leadership.

Why do you want to learn how to be a loser? you ask. We learn from both examples and warnings. This blog provides you both.

It’s good to know how to be a loser so, 1) you could do the opposite and 2) you can check to be sure you aren’t doing those things yourself.

I remember Jim Rohn saying that it’s too bad failures don’t give seminars. He would say, “If you meet a guy who has messed up his life for forty years, you’ve just got to say, ‘John, if I bring my journal and promise to take good notes, would you spend a day with me? Tell me how a good-looking guy like you with a beautiful family, everything going for him messed up his life so bad. What did you do? What do you read? What do you eat? What type of people do you hang out with? What do you do with your free time? What TV programs, newspapers, and radio programs do you spend time with? Wouldn’t that information be valuable? Find out and then DON’T DO those things.” Great strategy.

Here’s some loser training tips to get you started:

Take it day by day. Don’t bother with setting goals, making plans and preparing. Just wake up each morning and figure out what you want to do then.

Seek comfort. Growth and progress requires work, stress and struggle. Forget it. Stay comfy instead.

Don’t believe in anything. It’s easier to be cynical. If you believe in something you’ll have to do something. It’s easier to point out what’s wrong with something. Then you’re off the hook.

Be heard. You have a voice—use it often. Be sure to tell your story, no matter who is talking and what the topic is.

Avoid failure. The best way to avoid pain, rejection and failure is to not try at all.

Sleep in. Hey, you don’t want to accomplish much anyway, you might as well sleep in. Let the early morning strivers clear out before waking.

Don’t let others mess you up. Just take care of No. 1. Family, friends and other relationship require effort, sacrifice, being inconvenienced and doing things and listening to things you don’t want to. Who needs that?

Be blameless. If you never step forward and take responsibility, then you can never be blamed.

Defend yourself. Your view and opinion should be protected in every instance. Don’t let something you disagree with go undefended. Prove yourself always.

Protect yourself. Keep your guard up. Trust no one. Love no one. Those you let in might hurt you. Keep a wall around your heart. It’s safer that way.

Expect to lose. If you expect it, you can’t be disappointed right? Don’t put yourself at risk by having high expectations. Expecting to win and for good things to happen puts pressure on you and makes you face self-doubt, angst and tension. Just surrender early. Then the pressure is off.

For extended study… just find two or three losers and interview them. Find out what TV shows they watch, what radio programs they listen to. Find out where they eat and what they eat. Who do they spend time with? What do they talk about? What magazines, books, blogs and newspapers do they read? Find out what they think about our current economy, our government and the future. Ask them how they treat their spouse. Find out what they think about their co-workers. Etc.

Take copious notes. Make a long list. Then, DON’T DO ANY OF THOSE THINGS! Those are the things that mess up your life. Do the opposite and you become the opposite of a loser, which is a what? Yeah, a winner! That’s what you want to be, right? Then don’t think, act, talk, walk, dress or do what losers do.

When you become an Empowerer, you work with and through people but you do much more.  You enable others to reach the highest levels in their personal and professional development.  Simply defined, empowering is giving your influence to others for the purpose of personal and organizational growth.  It’s sharing yourself — your influence, position, power and opportunities — with others with the purpose of investing in their lives so that they can function at their best.  It’s seeing people’s potential, sharing your resources with them, and showing them that you believe in them completely.

The act of empowering others changes lives, and it’s a win-win situation for you and the people you empower.  Giving others your authority isn’t like giving away an object, such as your car.  If you give away your car, you’re stuck.  You no longer have transportation.  But empowering others by giving them your authority has the same effect as sharing information:  you haven’t lost anything.  You have increased the ability of others without decreasing yourself.

By John C Maxwell

He said, “It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.  I have decided to choose one of you.”  The young executives were shocked, but the boss continued.  “I am going to give each one of you a SEED today – one very special SEED.  I want you to plant the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with what you have grown from the seed I have given you.  I will then judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be the next CEO.”

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others, received a seed.  He went home and excitedly, told his wife the story.  She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted the seed.  Everyday he would water it and watch to see if it had grown.  After about three weeks, some of the other executives began to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.  Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.  By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn’t have a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by — still nothing in Jim’s pot.  He just knew he had killed his seed.  Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but he had nothing.  Jim didn’t say anything to his colleagues.  He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil.  He so wanted the seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn’t going to take an empty pot.  But she asked him to be honest about what happened.  Jim felt sick to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment of his life, but he knew his wife was right.  He took his empty pot to the board room.  When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety of plants grown by the other executives.  They were beautiful – in all shapes and sizes.  Jim put his empty pot on the floor and many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back.  “My, what great plants, trees, and flowers you have grown,” said the CEO.  “Today one of you will be appointed the next CEO!”

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with his empty pot.  He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to the front.  Jim was terrified.  He thought, “The CEO knows I’m a failure!  Maybe he will have me fired!”

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened to his seed – Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim.  He looked at Jim and then announced to the young executives, “Behold your next Chief Executive Officer!”
His name is Jim!”  Jim couldn’t believe it.  Jim couldn’t even grow his seed.  “How could he be the new CEO,” the others asked.

Then the CEO said, “One year ago today, I gave everyone in this room a seed.  I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it and bring it back to me today.  But I gave you all boiled seeds; they were dead – it was not possible for them to grow.”

“All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and flowers.  When you found that the seed would not grow, you substituted another seed for the one I gave YOU.  Jim was the only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with my seed in it.  Therefore, he is the one who will be the new Chief Executive Officer!”

When YOU plant honesty, YOU will reap trust

When YOU plant goodness, YOU will reap friends

When YOU plant humility, YOU will reap greatness

When YOU plant perseverance, YOU will reap contentment

When YOU plant consideration, YOU will reap perspective

When YOU plant hard work, YOU will reap success

When YOU plant forgiveness, YOU will reap reconciliation

When YOU plant faith in God, YOU will reap a harvest

So, be careful what YOU plant now–
It will determine what YOU will reap later.

While we can come up with a variety of reasons why we don’t follow through on what we say we want to do, inevitably it boils down to our mindset. Eighty percent of success in anything is psychology, and only 20 percent is mechanics. Most people know enough to get the job done, but they’re not doing it because their psychology is not in sync with their goals.

Recently I read an article by Tony Robbins in which he gave five principles for success.  These principles will help you succeed at the highest possible level.

1. Raise Your Standards

While this may sound like a tired old thought process, none of us who are honest can deny the truth that changes do not last long term until they become a part of our identity, until we literally begin to see them as the standard we live by. Raising your standards truly means turning your shoulds into musts. Everyone has a list of shoulds: ‘I should spend more time with my kids.’ ‘I should spend more time with a business plan.’ ‘I should lose some weight.’ I should, I should, I should. People don’t actually change. They just end up what I call, “shoulding” all over themselves. Convert those “shoulds” into “musts” and your entire life changes.

I’ve seen this example so many times when people have no money, but then one of their parents becomes ill, and they find the way to generate the money to cover the incredibly expensive cancer treatments. If you look at anyone who seems to have a superior life to yourself, I guarantee you they have a superior standard in that area. If you see someone who works out five times a week, it’s not because they have more time than you have. It’s because it is a must for them. They never miss. They identify with the standard and they live it every day.

When you feel that you absolutely must get something done, you will fi nd a way.

2. Change Your Limiting Beliefs

Even when the goal is crystal clear, and it’s truly a must for you to achieve, is that enough to succeed? Often it can be. But if you fi nd yourself either failing to act or pulling back, or even sabotaging yourself, there’s one reason: You have Inner Conflicts. Those can show up in fears and doubts, or they can show up as limiting beliefs in the form of fear or doubts. You may have a burning desire to experience absolute financial abundance, to be wealthy. But you may also have a conflicting belief that says: ‘I don’t want anyone to judge me.’ These two goals are in complete conflict. Or you have a desire to achieve a goal but simultaneously believe that you’re not strong enough, smart enough, or educated enough to make it happen. Unless you uncover these inner conflicts, they will cause you to fail.

One of the most important things I do in all of my seminars, in all of my coaching, is help people discover the conflict and realign themselves. When a human being is completely aligned, when everything inside of you is moving toward what you want without any holdbacks, there is a level of certainty that moves you to action on a consistent basis. And it will cause you to tap your fullest potential, creating results beyond your wildest dreams.

3. Model Strategies That Work

Remember, success leaves clues. There’s a Pathway to Power; a way to achieve what you want in a shorter period of time. And the way to find it is to model someone who’s already achieving what you want. If someone is successful at anything, whether they have a great relationship, are extraordinarily successful in business, or they have the body and energy that you desire, they’re not lucky. They’ve got a set of strategies that they apply and those strategies work. You don’t need to reinvent the wheel. You don’t need to reinvent a way to succeed. Throughout my life, I’ve always believed it’s been best to learn from others. That’s how you compress decades into days.

4. Intensify Your Emotions

It’s inevitable that life will hit us with something that feels like a crushing blow, whether an illness, a business setback, or a problem within your family. But this is a critical moment that, if faced directly, will give you the muscle of life—psychological strength—if we can simply look at it as a gift from God and find a way to use it.

Lance Armstrong’s a great example. When he faced cancer, what did he do? He didn’t give up. He intensified the emotions that he had to find a way to succeed more than he ever had in his entire sports career, even though he thought he had maximized his capabilities. And what happened? After conquering cancer, facing another biker was nothing. He won seven Tour de France events in a row. Remember, he had never won any Tour de France before that. He turned something that could have been the most traumatic moment of his life into a launching pad for some of his greatest victories. He chose to intensify his emotions and find a way to conquer, not be defeated by what life offered him. These are the moments that determine our destiny.

5. Give Much More Than You Expect to Receive

Ultimately what shapes the meaning of our lives is not what we get, but what we give. If you can make it your goal to each day find a way to add more value to people’s lives than anyone else, then you’ll never have to worry about success. But if you’re constantly just trying to make a deal, trying to make a trade—‘I’ll give you this if you give me that,’ you’ll find yourself struggling to prosper. Remember, the secret to living is giving. We’re not made to be selfish. We can succeed and achieve, but what we want deep in our souls is to feel like life matters, that we’re givers, not takers. If each day you can sincerely feel like you’ve given something of value to those around you, I can promise you you’ll experience the ultimate victory of life; a life of meaning and joy.

As I will be out of the country, holding Rallies in the Caribbean for the rest of this week, I will not post another blog until next week.

Thought for the Day:

The most important question to ask on the job is not, “What am I getting?”  The most important question to ask is, “What am I becoming?”             –Jim Rohn

Most people in our world today need encouragement.  They need to be validated and affirmed.  So, I encourage you to ‘Be an Encourager.’  Here are 10 simple ways you can encourage someone and make their day;  maybe even change their lives:

1. Show genuine interest in them.
2. Take time out to listen.
3. Be available.
4. Send a note (email or sms) telling that person you appreciate them.
5. Look for something positive about the person and tell him or her.
6. Tell the person one thing he/she does well (be specific.)
7. Acknowledge when that person does something good or well.
8. Don’t forget to say, “Thank You.”
9. Get to know what interests that person and pass across useful information.
10. Be Kind.

Thought for the Day:

“It’s one of the greatest compensations in life that no one can help another without helping themselves.”  – Ralph Waldo Emerson